Adam's World
by allchildrenbutonegrowup
Summary: When Adam enters Degrassi he goes in the same way he wants to come out...    Alive...     Mentions of Eclare, Definite Eli-Clare- Adam friendship, possible Adam-Fiona and or BiancAdam friendship.
1. Walking In Alive

"OK… you're waking up now Adam," his mother says and dumps the water over his head.

"Mom!" Adam whined and his mother looked at him innocently. She sets the bucket down.

"Adam… you're up. School… let's get ready now!"

"Can't I just not and say I did,"

"15 minutes or I'm getting Drew's water-gun."

"Fine," he muttered. Sometime's he's scared of his stepmother and this was one of those times.

"Just try and fly under the radar," his mom tried and Adam looked at her like she grew two heads and a tail.

"Really… you want me to do that in high school Mom? I'll be chewed alive in three seconds flat."

"Well, your Dad said you'd say that."

"It's true! I can't helped but be noticed!"

His mother kissed his head. "Just don't die," she whispered and Adam looked at her and laughed.

He slammed the car door and headed into Degrassi the same way he hoped to come out.

Alive…

***Adam's POV***

"Uh, why do you have tampons?" the girl said and I mentally cursed myself.

"I have a sister…and she uses me as a storage closet."

'Liar, I'm a liar.' I thought guiltily.

The girl eyed the comic that I hid in my history book.

"You too? Ugh, my English partner is a total nerd when it comes to this."

"Really?"

Then a dark-haired black-wearing teenager walked up to her. "Oh my god, Clare's looking for her glasses." He says and Clare, I assume, shoved him.

"Speak of the devil, he killed them." she muttered to me and I laughed. She picked up my comic book.

"Look," she handed him the comic. I didn't protest. Mostly because the boy held it like it was gold encrusted with diamonds.

He looked down at me as his face widens in extreme surprise and worship. "You are… God! This is the newest addition of my favorite comic. Why would you take it to school? No wonder Clare's on her knees for you."

She looked at him with mock-hatred in her eyes and he raised his eyebrows.

I looked at him. "My dad, he is friends with the editor of the guy who does them."

He looks at me and gets on his knees besides Clare. "You are God, I am not worthy."

"He's Eli Goldsworthy, and he's too close to me." She said and pushed him away as she kindly picked up my books and stood up.

"Hey Adam, you want to sit with us?" Clare said. "We're supposed to work on our writing—"

"I'm helping her overcome her writer's block,"

"His hobbies also include annoying me beyond belief,"

"And… I really don't care if we don't work on our writing, we'll do it later."

She rolled her eyes as he was still on the floor. Clare pulled him up.

"He's getting an A and I'm getting a C." she grumbled.

"Because I'm awesome and she's…" Eli looked at Clare and she punched his shoulder.

"There better be a good end to that sentence," she said and he shrugged.

"She's just Clare,"

Clare rolled her eyes and looked at me."So what do you say?"

I smiled, knowing that not everyone in Degrassi will be like this. "Sure, you guys are… entertaining."

The warning bell rang.

"Bye," Eli says and halfway Clare stops him.

"Eli…" she says, in a warning voice and he turns back around, grinning.

"Yes, Ms. Edwards." He says and she gently pries the comic I didn't know he still had out of his hands while looking up in his eyes and biting her lip. He's still grinning at her.

Their hands stayed together too long before Clare snapped out of it.

"Here… Adam," she says and then she walks away with Eli almost purposely bumping into her.

I raise my eyebrows at him and he looked back.

"What?" he asked innocently.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. I walked away with him, running after me.

"What!" he yelled and I laughed some more.


	2. Fiona and Bianca

**Wow, am i writing this for one person? I love Adam and the Eli/Adam bromance will be more awesome than Jimmy/Spinner or anything!**

**Maybe i should stick with Celi stories.**

**Oh and this Eli is more like his character...he's really funny.**

**Ok... i may have cheated and watched tonight's episode already but in my defense... i had to see Celi!**

I was right. Not everybody in Degrassi was this accepting.

2 words leave me scared as hell.

Bianca Desousa…

She was the definition of evil.

This morning she tripped me twice, stole my hat with her boyfriend, I don't know he could be, and calls me Mouse all the time because of my high voice.

"Hey Mouse," I heard and tried to pretend I didn't hear her.

"Mouse, get back here." I heard her say and her sneakers smacking the floor. I sped up but she was fast.

"Look, when I talk to you, you answer, you get it?" she says, pushing me against a locker.

Oh crap, she felt my binder.

"What's going on there?" she said, all the taunting leaving her face to have confusion replace it.

"Nothing, do you always touch guys the first second you meet them?" I say and back away. When I turn back she's smirking, why is she smirking?

"Who knew such a princess had backbone!" she said and I rolled my eyes.

I put my head down to avoid her boyfriend when I bump into a tall upperclassmen and her friend.

"Watch where you're going," the blond-ish one said harshly and the black haired one looked at her.

"S-s-sorry," I hate my stuttering.

The light haired one, softened when she saw the bruises on my face when I fell the last time Bianca tripped me. The black haired one looked at my eyes and how they darted around.

"It's okay, hey; you better go to the nurse for that." Her friend said and I nodded, knowing that there was no way in frozen hell I was going to the nurse for this.

The black haired girl looked down at her leg. She had a bruise the size of Drew's football collection.

I didn't want to be caught looking at her leg so I looked up at her.

"It's okay…" she said.

I nodded and she smiled sadly at me.

"I'm Fiona," she said. "And this is Holly J,"

"Holly J, call me Holly and… well… you'll see the old me."

The bell for lunch rang and they left, still looking at my cut.

"Mouse," I heard.

I turned around to see her boy-toy walking up to me.

"What do you want from me?" I ask suspiciously.

He smirked. "Not me, Bianca, she likes you dude."

I point to the scar on my cheek. "Oh yeah, she's already planning our wedding." I say and storm off.

"Wait," he clutched my arm a little too hard and I yanked it from him and looked at him. I could tell he didn't mean what just happened; he couldn't help it so I asked him.

"Why?"

"You're different she says. You don't cry like anybody does when Fitz and Bianca beats on them."

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, next time I'll make sure to bawl like a baby,"

He looked uneasy. "No one rejects Bianca and lives."

I roll up my sleeve and show him the bloody gash on my arm. "I will survive," I say.

"How long have you had that?"He whispers.

"The second time the both of you tripped me, not just you or Bianca, a pencil… yeah… I'll spare you the gore and just go."

"Dude, she likes you." He says and I shrug.

"She's nice sometimes but I can't."

He nods and gives me a quizzical look before heading over to her locker.

Her eyes widen and she gives me a look of admiration.

He didn't tell her.

He told her something else.

I saw Eli and Clare by her locker while they were in the middle of something.

"You just love getting under my skin." She says and he smirks.

"Maybe, I just want to be there."

"You…. You…you…" she groans and he smiles.

"I leave you speechless!" he says and Clare wrinkles her nose.

"Why do you insist on making me mad?"

"Maybe because I think you're adorable when you're angry."

I cleared my throat and Clare snapped out of it.

I look at him and he gives me a look of 'shut up, it meant nothing' but his heart was bursting right now.

"I'm going to go find a table," she says in a dreamy trance-like voice and I nod.

"Adam—"

"Tell me, do just friends think of each other as adorable when they're mad."

"Yes…" he tries and I shake my head.

"I don't think you're adorable." I shake my head and he looks mock-offended.

"After all the time we **Re**spent together," he jokes and I roll my eyes.

"Boys…"Clare singsongs, "I'd love to watch this bromance blossom, but we've got a block to chop, let's hustle."

She saunters off as Eli looks at her like a goddess.

"What?" she asks and shakes her head.

He turned to me while we walked a few feet behind Clare.

"You think I'm losing my cool around her?"

"Nah, you'd have to have some to begin with."

He laughs. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"You like Clare…" I breathe and he nods.

"Wait, what!" he says as I run up to Clare.

**Review or i pull the plug.**

**Oh yeah, i'm mean**

**Not really... ;)**


	3. Baby Steps and Gracie Torres

**Ahhh, in honor of yesterday's episode there'sa bunch of Celi in in the promo i watched it seems like there's a BiancAdam freindship, but not for long. Bianca is not nice...**

And Eli is so awesome!

* * *

****

"Clare, what would you do if I told you that—?" I started but Eli caught my arm and led me a few feet away.

"What?" I say, like I wasn't about to squeal his obvious feelings for Clare. I shrugged and he looked at me, almost laughing.

"Tell her and I will kill you!" he said, obviously joking, and she looks at us, head shaking from side to side.

"You guys are so…lovable… in a weird way." She says and rolls her eyes. She leaned against a locker, chuckling at us.

I smiled at her and so did Eli.

"So finally you admit you love me." He says, always jumping on the chance to see her annoyed.

"Well, I do admit you're getting a little confused in your pretty little head." She whispers as he faces her solely, getting caught up in their teenage hormones. And I know Clare was too.

"You love me and you called me pretty… Clare, Clare, Clare…" he says.

Usually, this is about the part where she hits him. Clare thought a moment. She looked at me for half a second and winked.

"Why, you don't think I'm pretty?" she whispered and crossed her arms.

"I think you're beautiful… when you're angry." he whispers.

She let her arms fall and mock-pouted. "That's not fair," she says.

"Life's not fair," he says and they both take a step closer. Whoa…I didn't want to see this.

"You're not fair," Clare said and sighed. "Boys… they suck."

Eli pushed off her and smirked, since Eli was leaning on her a bit. I cocked my head, knowing I was witnessing a rare sight and that Eli would be mad if he didn't get his two seconds with Clare actually playing along with him. She rolled her eyes and pulled him back. He looked startled and then smirked wider, if so very possible.

"See what I mean," she whispered.

Their foreheads touched and I was afraid to ruin the moment. They were both smiling at each other and Clare bit her lip and their noses touched. Okay, blech, love… too far.

"Uh… hi… there is an Adam present… its lunchtime." I say meekly.

They don't seem to hear me fully but they acknowledge me.

"Right, we have to get to lunch." Eli said.

Clare nodded and their faces were close enough to run against each other's. They were closer than ever. Ok, now I really don't want to see this.

"Adam, I need a little help please," She whispered and I pulled Clare's hand to get her away from Eli.

He leaned against the locker, smiling to himself. She sighed, frustrated.

I rolled my eyes and we got our lunch with Eli a few feet away.

I saw Bianca and KC talking. KC was staring daggers at Eli and Bianca at Clare. Eli came up behind me.

"That never happened!" they say at the same time.

I scuff."Yeah ok," I said and they both looked at each other, smiling. My friends were in love with each other. I guess I could live with that.

I remember Bianca and KC's faces. Could they?

5th period, after lunch I'm going to my locker when my locker almost shuts on my hand.

"What the heck… Bianca!" I say and she's looking at me.

"Mouse," she says. "I'll kill you."

I lean back in fear. I rolled up my sleeve. Her eyes widened as she looked at the healing gash.

"You always were someone who always finishes the job." I say and walk off.

She bites her lip and follows me. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, barely speaking.

"What?"I said, incredulous.

"I'm sorry!" she said.

"I know what you said… I just wanted to hear you say it again."

She smiled, a real smile, not an 'I'm going to get you' smile or a 'screw you' smile, it was a genuine smile. She punched my shoulder a bit too hard.

"Oh, sorry," she said and smiled at me, pleading with her eyes. I don't think Bianca ever had a real friend that she liked before, not a boytoy or whatever, a friend.

I sighed; thinking if I'm friends with her she might kill me. "Baby steps, baby steps…" I reminded her.

She held out her pinky and I shook it.

Either Bianca was a nice person underneath all that… her. (Laugh)

Or I'm being tricked.

My dad always said to give everybody a try. So… I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

But if she knew about Gracie, I knew it would only go downhill from here, and that would be right into hell and if I was going to walk out alive, she needed to never know about her.

Gracie ruins everything.

* * *

**  
Chelsea... i read somewhere that that's actually Adam's old name. Huh... Chelsea Torres has a nice ring to it. I'm just saying. Though I love Adam Torres so much more.**

**But now.. I know it's GRACIE. GRACIE.**

Anyways... Next chapter

Promo-

_"Touch me again and I'll kill you,"Bianca said with a fierce and somewhat disgusted edge in her voice I gulped. Screw the benfit of the doubt, I knew she was never my friend._

_"I've seen you freaks on Oprah," she continued and I got scared. We were in a crowded hallway. If she spilled it, as bad as things were now...they would get worse and worse and. Then I'd have to go back to my big solution, my escape plan since i decide to change. My number one fear,the one thing i'd never want to do. Something that makes me want to touchBiancaand let her kill me. Something I wouldn't even wish on Bianca or Fitz or Owen._

_Not being myself. Or in other words..._

_Going back to Gracie._  



	4. Beating Them At Their Own Game

**Finally! A new category! No more Klare story confusion.**

So here's my _Adam_ story.

* * *

The next day, Eli and I walked into Degrassi and Clare immediately left her best friend Alli.

"Stop," she said and looked at him with a concerned face.

"Clare…" he whined but she shushed him.

"No…" she whispered. "He could really hurt you, and I know you, you tend to get carried away."

"But it's so fun!" he said, stomping his foot.

She broke into a smile. "You are so kindergarten."

"Those were the days." He says dreamily.

"Wait… what?" I said. They were way too fast. Plus, I spaced out.

"Look, she's yelling at me because I keep making little harmless fun at Fitz,"

She rolled her eyes. "He's going to kill him."

"And you care that much Clare?" I ask and she blushes a bit.

"Well, death to a friend isn't fun Adam, duh."

Then she raced back to Alli. Eli looked at me.

"You're good with girl stuff, what the hell did that mean?"

"Well… girls speak a very special language and I can honestly say that I have no clue."

'Wow, two lies in 2 days. You're two for two.' I thought, again guiltily.

I knew that she was admitting to caring about him more than she actually thought she should and was embarrassed about it.

_Later, Zen Garden, Bianca and Adam are pals_

"Ok, Adam, uh… the answer is 14y?" Bianca said, in the Zen Garden, last minute studying for math class. She looks at me and shrugs.

I start laughing. "5x+7y, is the answer Bianca," I say.

She starts laughing too. "I'm going to fail," she states simply and she shrugs.

I go to bathroom before class and come back to see Bianca gone, and my phone blinking.

I shrug and grab my phone. I got a voice-mail from my mom, my real mom.

_"Gracie, where are you?"_ she kept saying. I only heard so many points.

_"Gracie! You are not a boy, stop kidding yourself and we can go back to normal."_

Normal… what was normal damn it?

_"I will always miss my little girl, Gracie. What did you do to her?"_

I released her.

_"Must you be different? Just call me and we can go back to normal._"

The N word again. Nobody's normal….

_"But remember "Adam"… you're not who you say you are."_

She said my name… and she was crying, because her voice broke. Acting… she never cries.

I started hyperventilating and almost crying. She found me.

She found me. Well, not actually, she's trying to…

Normal. I wasn't normal. Why didn't she know that? I wasn't supposed to be a girl. I was supposed to be a boy and it was her fault for giving birth to me this way and not excepting it when I found my solution.

Then I thought of Bianca. She obviously heard it. Or maybe not.

Oh damn it!

After math I ran over to Bianca and touched her shoulder, gently.

"Get off me!" she said and jerked her shoulder away so fast the friction almost made my hand burn.

She whipped around and her curls hit me in the face.

"Touch me again, and I'll kill you." she growled with a fierce and somewhat disgusted edge. I gulped, swallowing down my broken hopes. Screw the benefit of the doubt; I knew she was never my real friend. She saw the pain and hurt in my eyes and hardened her heart as if not to feel anything. Oh, that... ahh... can't say that.

"I've seen you freaks on Oprah," she continued. I got scared. We were in a crowded hallway. If she spilled it as bad as things were now, they would only get worse and worse and…

Then I'd have to go back to my big solution, my escape plan since I decided to change. My number one fear, the one thing I'd never want to do. The only and thing that would make me want to touch a worked up Bianca and have her kill me. Something I wouldn't wish on anybody, even Bianca, Fitz, and Owen.

Not being myself. In other words…

Going back to being Gracie.

"You're a freak!" Bianca said, looking at me like I was a science experiment.

People were staring. I swallowed again, now swallowing my broken hopes and lump in my throat.

"You're a trans-gender freak…" she whispered so only I could hear.

"Screw you," and I called her one choice name, you can guess what it was, and walked off.

She raced after me but this time I was faster.

"Mouse, you're going to die!" she said after awhile.

"Finish your job… I knew you were tricking me because that what people like you do!"

She stopped. "People like me, what people like me?"

"People who are judgmental, catty, lowlife, 'got nothing better to do', almost tried as an adult, cold-hearted, no future…" and I called her that word again.

"I'm not afraid to hit a girl." She whispered. I rolled my eyes and pointed to my bruises and cuts.

Like I already didn't know.

"You have nothing better to do than insult me?" she pushed me.

"No, you insult yourself." I said and pushed her away, not hard.

"Me! Well, 'Gracie'… I'll make your life a living hell." she smiled like the Chershire Cat.

"Please, it already will be, having to look at you all day." And I break away from the shocked girl's grip. She growls. I run outside over to Clare and Eli who weren't talking to each other. Both of them had folded arms and not facing each other. Something about Fitz liking Clare and if he was jealous and crap.

I stop halfway to think.

No way, I won't let them win. Forget coming out of Degrassi alive. I will beat them at their own game.

And you can quote me.


	5. How Awful It Could Be

In his car (hearse…), it was quiet.

I was scheming and they were mad for stupid reasons. Because they like each other.

If I was going to get them, not my stubborn friends, back I'll need to pull out the big guns and the most evil being in the world.

Gracie. Torres.

I swore to myself I'd never see her again but really…was it worth it…

To be depressed all the time?

To be beat up by Bianca and her friends.

Maybe it won't be that bad... to still be Adam.

Ok, so tomorrow I go as Adam to see how awful it will be. And if I can't take it, there were always two options.

Death or Gracie…

I snapped out of it.

"I can't believe you'd say that!" Eli was saying.

"Well, you are jealous of some guy who gets drunk of gin with my ex-boyfriend and Bianca Desousa." she said, mattter-of-factly.

"I am not jealous!" He gripped the wheel.

"Yes you are. And I have no idea of what, because you're just my English partner! "

He parked the hearse. I rolled my eyes. Clare kind of hurt him.

"Ok, take me home!" Clare says and he refuses.

"I'm not talking to you." He mutters.

"You just did," she pointed out.

He smirked at her. "No, who's kindergarten?"

She gnawed on her cheek. "Sorry," she mumbled, looking down.

He looked at her like he used to. "For what,"

"You're not just my English partner… you're my friend."

"Your friend?" he whispered. They didn't look at each other.

She nodded. "Of course, you're something like that,"

"Oh will you two just kiss and get it over with," as I gently took Clare and Eli 's heads and put their lips as close as can be.

They did the rest.

'People are so unbearable sometimes,' I thought as Clare and Eli kissed for a long time.

What would they do without me?

* * *

Owen lifted me up and I fell through the glass I heard Bianca's shrieks of laughter turn into a dull shriek.

"You weren't supposed to kill him! Half us have a record and can be charged as adults." Fitz said and shoved Owen.

"Like you're an expert, that Goldsworthy kid could be lying in a ditch."

What did they do to Eli?

I tasted blood, blech, and salty quivering tears. I had a shard of glass on my cheek.

"What the hell, dude, you get carried away!" Bianca said. "He's like having a seizure!"

I was shaking uncontrollably. My brain was fried from the contact and it was like melting in my ear.

"If he's dead…" she started and kicked the nearest thing.

"We're dead," Fitz finished.

"And if you killed that Gothic emo boy then we're screwed." Owen said.

Damn, follow them on the path to hell.

"Dear God, what do we do?" Fitz said

"Owen, don't you think about running off." Bianca hissed.

I could feel blood dripping down my legs.

But Owen and Fitz ran off anyway.

She probably thought I was unconscious or dead when she said: "I'm really sorry," before taking off.

Then I heard high heels. Clare wears flats.

"Oh my god… it's you…" the familiar voice said.

Fiona?**  
**


	6. I Just Want To Know

Then I heard high heels. Clare wears flats.

"Oh my god… it's you…" the familiar voice said.

Fiona?

"Adam, let's get you to the nurse." Fiona said and she picked away the glass on my body. They felt like daggers in my skin, directing hatred towards me.

"No… she'll call the… police," I whispered, but she heard me.

My phone rang. It was Eli's ringtone, the one he set for himself. Paisley Jacket by Dead Hand.

"Fiona… please can you answer it…" I said and she obliged.

She put on speaker for me as she tended to me and my bloody body parts.

"Adam," Clare was crying, I could just tell.

"Clare, what… is wrong," I say, wheezing in the middle.

"Eli… he's hurt really badly. Oh… and where are you, why are you wheezing? Oh my god, are you hurt?" she shrieked and I can picture the tears rolling down her frosty blue eyes.

This girl was too smart.

"Well… do you define excruciating pain as hurt?" I asked, trying to make her smile.

She huffed an amused breath. "I'm sort of serious, Adam."

"So am I,"

"Yeah, seriously hurt!" Fiona muttered. She had tears in her eyes. But she barely knew me.

"Clare, is Eli dead?" I asked.

"No, no, dear god, no. I felt his pulse and I called his parents and the police."

"Did they care?"

"Bullfrog, his dad, was at work but Cece, his mom is on her way."

I was trying to keep Clare busy while Fiona cleaned up my arm.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered to her.

She sniffled. "Because I know," she said simply as she tenderly wiped my bleeding arm.

"Know what?" I whispered as Clare was probably sitting besides Eli, doing the same things.

She looked into my eyes, "How it is… to not be exactly…'tolerated'."

I smiled weakly at her and she continued wiping. I wouldn't let her farther than my arms and my legs.

"My, you are heavily clothed." she observed. Clare has hung up by now.

"It keeps blood off of some things," I whispered.

True, my mom's (stepmom and real one) would freak if they saw another blood stain on my binder. They really do care.

"Like… your binder?" she said. "Not everyone knows... Adam because Bianca does know when to shut up but I know. You were a girl; I overheard Bianca and that voice-mail."

She smiled kindly at me. "And I don't care, OK, you're fine the way you are." 

* * *

That night I sat at the table in my room because Fiona's a great nurse and I got to go home.

Yesterday my dad's lawyers sent over all my old clothes and make-up since they legally belonged to him, since he had custody.

I fingered my old clothes, knowing they'd still fit. I don't eat much.

I was either having a momentary lapse of insanity or I was done with this. Though my desire to be a boy was fierce, I couldn't take another day without at least seeing what it would've been like. Or what the difference could be.

I raised the mascara wand halfway to my face. Such a familiar action with such a familiar tool… Then I shudder, feeling a chill.

I put it down but then I looked at my arms and decided on something.

I picked up the mascara wand wanting to cry and…  
**  
**


	7. Believe

My stepmom fainted.

Right there on the floor, she woke up after we got her smelling salts out of the cupboard. She also fainted when Drew got hazed.

I came downstairs as Grace.

I had a white and dark purple hoodie with white sweatpants rolled up to my knee. I had dark purple sneakers and Drew's jaw just like dropped at the sight of me.

It was all too familiar, putting on the gentle strokes of eyeliner and purple eyeshadow. My mom taught me when I was twelve years old.

It was wrong. Bad, half of me wanted me to run upstairs and put my clothes back on. But I just needed to know.

I grab a granola bar from the bowl on the table and run out with Drew after me.

"Adam... Adam... wait up," I turned around.

"Don't," I hissed and walked onto the bus. 

* * *

I felt the stares.

_"Who is she?"_

_"Where'd she come from?"_

_"How'd her hair get like that?"_

_"You think she'd..."_

Shudder. Some boys...

Clare saw right through it but made didn't make a show.

These clothes felt itchy, bad and wrong. Pure wrong.

"Adam," she whispered and I nodded.

Her eyes widened and she looked me over. "Adam?" she squeaked.

"Clare... It's me, sort of, well... actually not really."

I fumbled with myself. Feeling...out of place.

"You need to know?" she whispered. She really was way too smart.

I nodded, tears forming.

"I really need to know," I said, my voice the same, weak and small.

She sighed and hugged me. "Take my lucky bracelet, you really seem to need it."

I smile at her as I slipped the bracelet said. 'Believe in what you believe'. She obviously got it for her religion but for me it was deeper. The girl part of me will always be prominent but I will always... always... be Adam.

And no damned high school bully can change that.

And I'll prove it.

Even if I end up dying in the process.

Eli walked into the doors of Degrassi with a cast on his arm (black) and a limp.

Oh. My. God.

He had scar after scar on his arm. Scratch after scratch. Bruise after bruise. Mark after mark. Even one shaped as an A and another as a C.

Was this... because... of me?

Clare's turn for tears to well up.

"Clare..." he said and then he noticed me. And recognized me.

"Whoa... Adam... you... are... here." he said, mind blown.

"Why?" I whispered the same time as him.

"Uh," he looked uncomfortable. "Sorry but... now, you're a girl," he said skeptical, trying to deter me.

I smiled sadly and rolled my eyes. "Tell me,"

"Fine, but you... might not like it," he said, uneasy. Clare nudged him, encouragingly.

"It was... indirectly... because of...you?" he whispered.

Cue the lump in my throat. I said nothing.

"Indirectly," he reminded me weakly.

"Oh god," and I barged into a bathroom, to avoid crying.

Adam got Eli beat up. Should I stay as Grace? Perfect girly Gracie didn't get people beat up.

I looked at my wrist and read it over and over again.

Then I realized I was in the girl's bathroom.

When Bianca DeSousa walked in.

* * *

**Aaagh! So hard!**

**Please tell me if you think it's bull and I'll delete it and start over.**

**R&R**  
**  
**


	8. The Life Story Of Bianca DeSousa

**Bianca's meeean.**

**Watch her in her episodes... *Does what's told***

**I rest my case!**

* * *

_And she didn't recognize me._

"Oh, another new kid, damn, you're not a tranny are you?" she groaned in disgust, rolling her eyes in the mirror. My heart deflates but.. she didn't recognize me!

I pinched myself to keep from laughing at how blunt she is.

"No..." I said in my girlhood voice. It felt like acid on my tongue.

She started washing her hands. "You seem..." Oh crap, I panic. "...different than the rest. I like that. I'm Bianca DeSousa." she said and started working in her make-up.

"So I've heard."

"We could be friends..." she gestured for me to answer, with my name. A reason to panic.

"Grace..." Fake last name time. "Howe. I'm just checking out the school for a couple days."

"Hmm, Grace... no offense but that name doesn't help you with me... my old friend Adam was passing himself off as a boy. I had to learn from his real mom everything I thought he could trust me with."

I was shocked. "Oh... that sucks."

"I thought... we were friends but he was like everyone else, desperate to get what they want and stopping at nothing to get it Grace. Hurting someone who cared about him remotely in the process."

She moved on. "I acted all tough but I saw the pain... the fear in his eyes, the hurt, but the betrayal... was too great."

"Well, did you tell him?" I whispered.

"What would be the point? He didn't tell me something, I didn't tell him something. We're even." she muttered.

She slammed down her fist and took a second to regain her composure. "He's usually here, with his loser friends... Clare..." and she chuckled sadly. "...and Eli."

I looked up at her, why the chuckle?

"They beat him good after he left and I found out. My friend Fitz, he's a good friend. He knows when to stop. Owen is a little eh, on that. KC will learn one day. Adam hurt me, they hurt Adam. Eli's friends with Adam and if Fitz didn't have this crush on Clare... they'd all be pulp," she insists, now on her way to powdering her nose.

"I don't do anything. They're just there for me if they need a beat-down delivered to a girl, they call their resident 'catty, judgmental, lowlife, got nothing better to do' no future' almost tried as an adult friend. KC keeps me in check, calming me down."

Why was she telling me all this?

"I'm a stranger, why are you, telling me all this?" I asked.

She smiled at me. "Because, ever since I was three growing up with do-gooder parents and bleach blond bimbo sisters, I knewI was different and so are you..."

She rebelled against her family.

"Later Chelsea..."

* * *

**Hint- someone dangerous recognizes her.**..


	9. Not Normal With Your Head Held High

**I have a case of Adam fever. Watched him last night. So adorable! So... awkward! Ahhh! Love it. Though I don't buy that no one suspects something. He doesn't even try to hide his girl voice. But still.**

I didn't go to class. I'd just walk and talk to people. No one beat me up.

I dodged Mr. Simpson and other teachers. It was easy.

But I couldn't dodge someone.

"Chelsea?" she whispered.

I turned around to see my mom. She had tears in her eyes, genuine tears. Oh crap, she found me! It was only a matter of time...

"Uh..." I was at a loss for words. My mom stood there in the hall and it was the middle of 2nd period. Why was she here? I slid down a set of lockers and sat.

"Chelsea?" she repeated, and the face she would have had, violent pleasure, wasn't present.

"Oh no," she said. "Adam... you can't be both,"

"I don't know who I am," I say sadly as I bang my head against a locker.

She sighed and sat next to me.

"No matter how normal-"

"Stop saying that word." I asked her and she nodded.

"No matter how much I want it to be back then... it'll never be, honey. And I've just recently accepted that. OK? And you need to accept that you're Adam Jordan Torres. Chelsea Marie Torres never existed. And I, Veronica Deliah Torres will not let you beat yourself up along with the people who will always hold you down." she took my chin. "Although, you did do a good job. Careful strokes, like a taught you."

I laughed. She kissed my forehead. "Head held high, you will march through that door who you want to be."

"With people by my side?" I asked. "It gets lonely sometimes."

I am aware, I sound like I'm 5 but I needed to be assured.

"Of course it does baby, and besides... about 51% of the world are female. There's enough. And you're sensitive like a girl and deep like a boy. Adam, you're everything good about both sexes, rolled into one that you perfer."

She did have a way with words. I started crying but she wiped my tears. "Watch your make-up, you're a pretty girl, don't look like yougot lost in a waterpark."

I laughed, giving her a hug. "I love you, Mommy."

"Love you, Adam." she said, returning it.

Little did I know who was behind the lockers.


	10. Remember Me

**There is a lot of FionAdam.**

"Adam?" I heard and my mom and I turned around to see Fiona, confusion plain as day on her face.

"Fiona?"I said and she cockedher head. "Hi,"

"What... are you doing?" she said as my mom decided this was time to leave.

"Uh... messing up," I said truthfully.

She sat next to me. "Care to share?"

"Well... I don't know who I am. I'm torn between who I want to be or what otherpeople think I should be."

She nodded. "I see your dilemma," she whispered.

I picked at a scab on my arm. She lowered my hand. "Don't, it makes it worse."

I looked up at her. "Why are you so understanding?"

"Well... I already told you... I know." she said as she hugged her knees.

She looked me deep in the eyes and hoped I understood. I did, she was hurt and confused before. Between the real Fiona and who she should be.

"Bobby... he was my seemingly perfect boyfriend. But he got a teeny bit upset all the time. Look," she handed me her phone.

Whoa. They were dramtized black eyes and and then a lighter bruised eye and then her leg.

"Why would you want to remember these?" I asked her. "This is horrible."

She sniffled. "Because he's coming back and I want to remember what he did to me."

I let her cry on my shoulder. It's what she really needs.

* * *

"Chelsea," Clare repeated at lunch, sitting next to Eli. She shuddered.

"So unlike you," he mutters. Then he looks behind me. And froze.

"What, trying to corrupt the new girl too?" Fitz said. "You have three girlfriends now?"

I forgot how to breathe, the bad way. LIke the way you want to undetected so you just shut down.

"I have one, her." he said and pointed to Clare, who looked up in fear and curiosity.

Fitz smiled. "You like the Ginger. I'd think she'd be too..." he looked her up and down."... hot and smart for you but... I see Adam and Chelsea aren't."

I knew Clare felt increasingly uncomfortable at how he was staring at her, like with x-ray vision, looking past her clothes. She twisted the cross on her neck.

"A sweet little good girl... hmm, Chelsea, what do you say to that?" he nudged me. It didn't hurt.

The first time Fitz touched me without hurting me. I need to write this in my diary. (NOT!)

"That you really shouldn't mess with her." I said quietly and he chuckled.

"Nonsense, I'm a gentleman."

Eli glared at him when he wasn't looking. Clare rolled her eyes, she hated this kid.

"Anyway, Bianca wants you." he says to me, eyes still undressiing on Clare.

I turn around to see Bianca, arms crossed and a 'come on' look on her face. Eli and Clare looked at each other and I gulped. I picked up my stuff and left.

**Guess what. AHH! Jordan Todosey is going to be in a movie 'Vacation with Derek' but Canada got to see it before America. Sigh and she's a blonde there with long hair. Wow she cut off a lot.**

**And, ps- MUNRO CHAMBERS CAN SING. I know, totally random but dear god, he's PERFECT! Ahh, he's so... good!**

**I love Degrassi.**


	11. Not You Too

**Ok, so here's what Bianca wants with Adam, I'm sick of him as Chelsea. He's done with her.**

**Oh and Eli scared me yesterday but he was still awesome.**

"Um, why were hanging out with Clare and Dr. Doom?" Bianca laughed. "They'll corrupt you dude."

Fitz threw a cigarette at her. Who'll corrupt who again?

"You owe me." he says.

She smirks, all flirty. Ewww. "I'll think of something."

He shakes his head and walks away, smiling. Bianca sighs and smiles.

Whoa. Bianca's such a... girl.

"Uh, someone looks happy." I tell her and she smiles.

"After the AdamGate, I don't know... he's my friend. Just friends," she said.

I really did not care.

She offered me a smoke. I rolled my eyes. "No," I said and she shrugged.

"Suit yourself," she muttered.

If I did suit myself, then why was I wearing this?

_Tomorrow_

_(Adam's back!)_

"Adam!"I heard and Fiona jumped from her friend, Holly J. "You're back!"

She hugged me frm the side and I awkwardly patted her back.

"I was so worried you'd be gone forever," she said and I understood the double meaning. Adam would be gone. She smiled.

"I couldn't do that." I simply stated and she sighed.

"Good, because if you did, I'd lose the one person who gets me. You know?"

I smiled at her. "I know,"

I turned the corner to see Fitz and Clare.

Fitz was pressing himself onto Clare and Clare didn't like it one bit. She was glaring openly at him and he smirked.

That jerk.

"Adam," she said, and Fitz turned to look at me.

"We thought you were dead." He says, not loosening up on Clare. She sighed, like it was hopeless.

"Last I checked, I'm still breathing." I say. Tears sprang into Clare's eyes. He was holding her tight.

I had to get hi off of Clare, any way possible.

One way to do that.

"Hey Fitz," I said.

"What freak?" he answered with a sneer. I smiled.

"You like Bianca?" I asked.

He chuckled. "She's just a friend, alright?"

"Really... well what if I said she has a crush on someone else?" I said. I'm pretty okay with lying to him.

"If you were lying, Id'd kick you into your own head." he hissed, loosening on Clare like I hoped.

"Better check out that KC kid, I heard him and Bianca talking about going to the boiler room..." I trailed off.

He laughed. "Oh hell no," he said.

And as he walked away, he bumped into me.

"Remember, I will cut you up if you're lying."

Clare looked shaken, rubbing her wrists and letting tears flow. She was ok. Thank god, it was worth it. She looked scared out of her mind though.

I nodded. "Better hurry..." I muttered.

I was dead.

Clare looked at me. "Not you too," she whispered.

I nodded. "Worth it though,"

Eli walked up, the smile he had fading as he felt the tension.

"What I miss?"


	12. Promises

**I am having a hard time writing Adam's World... but I buckled down and did it.**

"When will this cycle of violence end?" Clare whimpered whenwe sat at the dot. I _lied _about KC and Bianca. Oh, I hope, dear God, I hope he doesn't kill me.

"Probably when one of us is dead, lying in a ditch somewhere in New Jersey."

"New Jersey?" I asked. "The States?"

He shrugged. "Random state, wanted me to say Nevada or something? Maybe Montana? What do you want from me?"

I laughed. Clare was laughing, but she stiffened.

"I think we should leave," she mumbled looking behind us.

"Why?" he asked suspiciously. Then she turned around and saw Fitz. He looked mad.

Understatement of the year.

Bianca wasn't with him. He spotted us and it was too late. Clare looked down again and Eli grabbed her hand under the table as reasssurance.

"Hey Adam," he hissed and I turned around.

"Yeah?" I said in a voice that doesn't convey my fear.

"Thanks... it was disgusting to find them in there but... never eexpect me to say it again."

They actually were in there? OK, ewwwwww. But I just saved my butt from being pummeled into oblivion.

Fitz looked at Clare to Eli and sneered.

"She'll leave you... and I'll be here Clare, waiting." he winked at her and I could feel the disgust oozig out of her. To be honest, I was disgusted too.

"So what now?" I asked.

"Hmm, name the most random thing ever." Eli said and I had an eerie feeling that Fitz won't bother e for awhile. Not forever but awhile.

He had bigger fish to fry. Fish by the name of KC Guthrie.

But I did have one problem though.

Bianca. Don't understand why but I care about her. Maybe because she was once my friend.

Plus, Degrassi is still iffy on the whole transgender thing.

I, Adam Torres, promise to change that.

**Hmm, this could end right here. Right now. At this second.**

**Bye! **


End file.
